The small humans that populate this house always multiply during the day. The littlest ones are fascinated with me. Do you blame them? I am fluffy. I am irresistible. They bring me offerings of food and drink.
They do not seem to understand that a raised paw in their direction means "Leave me underling!" Instead it sends then into paroxysms of joyous laughter. As if I were blessing them or joining them in some silly game. This is irritating to His Royal Fluffiness.
When I attempted to whip my tail to express my extreme displeasure at their continued presence they had the audacity to think it needed adornment. As if it weren't glorious enough on it's own!? This flesh colored piece of plastic they stuck to my tail is just an indignity! Perhaps if I feign sleep they shall leave.
Damn, it didn't work! Still here. Bringing me yet more food offerings to garner my pleasure. Don't they realize they cannot buy my attention with food? Wait! Is this chicken? Oooooh...chicken is my favorite!