Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I wish she came with a manual
Of my three children, it is Teresa that frustrates me the most. Don't get me wrong. She is glorious and shines with a light that makes my heart sing. Just to see her is a delight I never thought possible. But she is opinionated and stubborn and very strong willed and passionate. She must have the last word on everything and she is constantly comparing her portion of everything; food, drink, toys, attention, with that of her siblings. You would think Sam would be the most difficult, given all his challenges, but he isn't. Overall, I find myself seething over something Teresa has done or is saying or how she is acting. This gives me no end of guilt. I don't want her to look back and think that all we did was fight and butt heads. I don't want her to think I loved her any less than her siblings just because she's got more uumph and gumption and has to argue every little detail. I'm proud that she doesn't follow the group but does her own thing when she wants to because she wants to. I want her to remember the times she made me laugh in surprise at her jokes. I want her to think back and cherish the times we spent scrapbooking, talking and singing together. I want her to know that I celebrate the person she is every time I think of her. I hope I can parent her so as to nurture all of who she is without squashing any of who she is. Does that make any sense? I love her passion and opinions. It's such a fine line to walk. She needs to learn respect, but she is also entitled to speak her mind. She should learn to be fair and considerate, but understand that things won't always go her way. I do not want her to bend to the will of anyone, but there are times when she's going to need to be flexible. I look into those cinnamon colored eyes when I'm angry with her behavior and see through the steel into the sweet sweet core of her and wonder...how do I do this?