Monday, December 27, 2010

a resolution

I promise I haven't abandoned blogging. I've gotten a little tangled up in some big suck ass health issues of someone near and dear and it's been so very hard for me to muster up the energy to do more than just get through the days. I blunder along and find at the end of the day I haven't accomplished near what I want, and sometimes need, to get done. I keep jotting down thoughts and ideas I want to blog about but just can't put those into longhand. I find I'd much rather shut my brain down and watch stupid tv.
I really shouldn't let a health crisis, over which we have no control, dictate my mood and actions but the natural pessimist in me has taken over. I fight it. I can't be sad and weepy all the time because my kids, my family, need better than that. I confess I don't do a very good job though. I may be smiling and joking, but just under the surface I am scared and freaked the hell out.
I miss the joy I get out of writing. Writing on the blog has been so good for me. I find I looked more closely, listened more attentively and enjoyed more completely all the simple everyday moments when I was writing. I need to re-focus on those simple moments. Those moments are everything. They are miracles that I have to remember to appreciate and writing helped me to remember. And now, more than ever, I need to appreciate the miracle of the everyday. So, I am going to make more of an effort to do just that.

I am going to remember to marvel at the sunsets.

Take time to snuggle with puppies (and this little cutie too)

Give thanks for family that fills my house till it's bursting

And never forget to wish upon stars.

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